I'm just a memory in the vast amount of space. A single being, a thought, a never again. The pain inflicted is unimaginable. The day-by-day living isn't even possible because I no longer live. The fear is suffocating, the devastation has only just been realized. The amount of change you have caused in my life is unbelievable. I never thought that It would be possible, at least not all at once. The people I have lost and can never get back because of you saddens me to the limits of the unknown. Do you know how you've made me feel? No, and you will never be able to understand.
How can I heal? I'll never be the same. I hear your voice when I sleep ,and I feel your sickening touch when I wake. The inner hatred has no bounds. The inner fear has no limits. How am I supposed to move on and forget what you have done when it has only just begun?
A new day is here, but I feel worse than the last. The pain and disgust grow with each passing day. The memories become more vivid; it's no longer a nightmare, now it is a reality. The truth hurts more than ever before. Why did you have to do that? Why did you have to make me feel the way you did?
Written: July 6th, 2010. One and a half months after I was sexually assaulted.
Author: Ashley - 18 years old